“It’s the weight that you carry from the things you think you want” ~ Zac Brown Band
This post is as much for me as I hope it is helpful to you. A lot of times when things are hard at work or at home – we idealize other people’s situations as so much better than our current status. We focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do have. This is the ol’ Grass is Greener on the Other Side mentality. And I agree with Theodore Roosevelt when he said
So knowing that comparison doesn’t serve us well – what do we do? This is the part where I am preaching to myself as much as anyone else.
1. Be Grateful.
- Take time to remember what you have going well in your life. Ask the people who are your supporters what you are good at, and ask for specific examples.
- Tell those same people the things you appreciate about them. Consider those even closest to you – when is the last time you said something unprompted to point out their strengths, gifts, and qualities you admire?
- Create a folder in your email that is full of the positive feedback you get from your clients, your coworkers, etc. Start today and review it annually.
- Do something kind and unexpected for someone else because you recognize the gifts you have at your disposal.
2. Claim your story.
What’s happening to you right now is YOUR story – the good, the bad, and the ugly. If we can identify the patterns in our thoughts and our behaviors, we can begin to make positive changes toward wholeheartedness and living a life we are proud of – regardless of the circumstances of any given day. Owning what’s good, bad and ugly about our stories helps us make meaning, uncover lies we’ve believed, and help us have more confidence in our decisions. Who wouldn’t want that? I’ve recently read Brene Brown’s book, Rising Strong and recommend it for more on wholehearted living.
3. Live in the moment.
Pause and take in what’s happening around you. Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you I am goal-oriented. Being a Type-A personality comes with constantly striving toward something and thinking in the future. Our culture touts busy-ness as a marker of success and this makes it so easy to miss what’s going on today. This has never been truer than now with my 7-month-old daughter. She’s never as small or as young as she is today. If I am striving, pursuing and planning – I’m going to miss the playing, smiling and simply being. Recently Shonda Rhimes put out a TED talk that addresses this very thing. Check it out.
This was first published on LinkedIn (5/2016)